Alive and Not Well
by Lokita77
Summary: When I was a little girl, I had dreamed of living a perfect life. Now, I am poor, partly suicidal and in love with my best friend. My name is Sakura Haruno and I am a teenage prostitute. AU. MATURE THEMES.
1. Prologue: Money

This is my second fic and I would like give you a warm welcome to it.

**"The devil's voice is sweet to hear."**

_Stephen King_

**"And money has the voice of the devil."**

_Sakura Haruno_

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**I **knew that my life would never be the same after that Tuesday.

It all began with a bit of flirting from one of my sempai(1) after school inside one of the classrooms we had both been assigned to clean. I was used to this sort of attention so I just decided to nod from time to time when he talked. My focus at the moment was to quickly but correctly sweep the floor.

It was when he had come close to me that I had realised that this maybe wasn't like all of those other times. This boy, I knew, had the initiative in his act of "charming" me. His body pressed against my back, causing me to stiffen. I was never used to this kind of touch, only a hug from Naruto time to time.

"So, you wanna do it?" he said, his voice husky.

I hadn't been listening to him when he was talking to me earlier but for some reason, I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"No thank you." I tried to say this with some sort of superior tone, only it came out squeeky.

"C'mon," he was talking like the matter was nothing, "It's cool if you've never done it before."

I moved the broom against the floor again, sweeping up dust, "I said no thank you."

He gave a huff and I felt him back off. I turned around to find him feeling around in his pocket. His hand came out with a leather wallet like most adults have. He was fishing through it and pulled out a 10,000 yen bill.

I remembered having my mouth drop and staring like an idiot. That to me is a lot of money. This guy, I'd thought, he's rich. And he actually wasn't rich, just better off than me. Hell, everyone is better off than me.

"Here." He handed me the bill so casually and I took it and mumbled a thank you, eagerly shoving it into the fashionable (fake) bag that was slumped over on my desk.

He smirked.

Before this, I had forgotten his name. But when he gave that smirk, that sardonic smirk, I remembered his name. Kabuto. Suddenly his arms were around me, under my uniform shirt and his hands trailing up my thighs, holding me against a random desk. I cried out for him to stop and to my surprise, he did.

"What? You don't want the money?" he was panting, excited to get back to what he was doing.

"B-but you gave it to me." I felt like crying. How could I've been so stupid?

"Yes, I did. And now you give something to me." He reached his hand back out to touch me again. I slapped it away. He rubbed his hand with a laugh.

"So you don't want the money then?" he asked, though his tone made the question sound more like an accusation.

I shook my head, "No, I do want the money."

He gave that awful smirk before going back to touching, rubbing, licking, and deflowering my body. The entire time I only thought about one thing.

xxxxMoneyxxxMoneyxxxx

There he had gotten me when he said the word "money". I'm poor. My mother left 6 years ago when I was 10. It affected my father mentaly, him now not being able to leave the house or go to work. I had gotten a job and I've held it for about a year at a gift shop as the cashier but that wasn't enough to pay for the bills so I work some nights at a resturaunt. I also try my hardest to find babysitting jobs.

I now live every day in fear waiting for the bills to come in. I could only pay so much so I cut off our internet, cable, and air conditioning services but even with those gone, I could barely keep up with the bills.

My father never helped. He was never angry or beat me, he just neglected me. I don't think that he meant or means to, he just lives in his own world where he is normal.

Money.

This is the reason why I'm doing this. This is the reason why I don't cry at night. This is the reason why I sell my body.

Everyone that buys my sex are always students at my school. Rich students or students that scraped up enough money. The word had spread about Kabuto and that caused others to come to me.

I don't think that the teachers know, they've never confronted me. I do know that my best friend, Naruto Uzumaki doesn't know. He is the most clueless person in school. And that's good. Because…

I'm not sure If I would want to live if Naruto knew what I did at least 3 times a week. What I did behind the school, in classrooms, bathrooms, and sometimes even love hotels. I love Naruto. Not just as friend. So much more than that.

My fantasy was that when I graduated, me and Naruto would marry and he would become what he had always wanted to be since we were young, a police officer. I would be a doctor and together we would have a beautiful and long life together with children and grand-children.

But my fantasy was just a child's dream. Naruto has a serious relationship with a shy and cute girl by the name Hinata. I can admit that I'm jealous of her but I would never say that I hold anything against her. It's my fault that Naruto and I don't go out and just remain friends.

I am always being too much of a friend. I almost act like an older sister (though we're the same age) with the way that I'm always scolding him. Is it because I'm worried about him when he does such stupid things? Naruto doesn't know about my feelings for him. So, why wouldn't he be living his life and going out with a cute girl like Hinata?

The only two reasons I haven't considered suicide is because of Naruto and my father. Without them…

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I wouldn't be in this horrible world.

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So, did you guys like the dramatic tone?

Remember that R & R really helps me get these stories updated. So please…

REVIEW. Pretty please?


	2. Despondency

"**All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.**** "**

_Scott Alexander_

"**So,** did I miss anything in math today, Sakura-Chan?"

Naruto was walking along side me from school. Every so often I would turn my head to look at his face, trying to not be so obivious. He had more boyish features than manly. His blonde hair was always spiked up and his eyes looked like such a bright blue against his tanned skin. Naruto was born with birthmarks that looked almost like cat whiskers but he had the trickiness of a fox so that was his nickname from his dad.

I smiled and adjusted my bag to a more comfortable position, "Nothing really, just lots of homework."

"That fucking sucks," cursed Naruto.

I elbowed him in the rib and said, "Don't use such language, young man."

I was imitating our principle who had said these exact same words to Naruto when he cussed her out in the middle of math class, which explains him asking about the class.

Naruto laughed, rubbing the where I had elbowed him, "Yes, m'am."

We were in the middle of walking down a sidewalk on the right of the road when suddenly I saw one of _them. _It was walking towards us but didn't seem to notice our presense since he was busy staring at his shoes, his hands stuffed in his pockets. I prayed inwardly that he would never look up but…

"Hey, Shikamaru!" Naruto was waving like the naïve boy he was to the other walking boy—no, he wasn't a boy.

I knew this from experience.

Shikamaru mumbled a poor excuse of a hello to Naruto, pretending to clean out his right ear with his pinky, as if Naruto was loud. Which he was.

The older teen is in his second year and had his brown hair messily held up in a ponytail. He was always called lazy but seemed to be popular with girls at school. I looked to my shoes, ashamed by the fact that had been shoved into my face once again this morning when I saw him with his girlfriend.

Ino, a childhood friend, was going out with Shikamaru.

My mind started to fade into the first time that Shikamru had… found about and requested my services. He was different from the others who came to me. All of the other boys had gotten down to business right away. Shikamaru was a _talker._ It's not like he talked the entire time, of course he paid me and we did _it _but he actually talked a lot at first, a little in the middle, and lot more at the end.

It had shocked me that he was actually into conversations, he was the last I would expect. It was like he was laying out all of his problem in front of me while I laid out my clothes in front of him. Shikamaru apparently was cheating on Ino with a 3rd year named Temari. I knew Temari but I wasn't too close to her, Naruto's best friend, Gaara, is her brother.

Anyways, he started going out with the year older girl only a month after he and Ino were dating. He seemed to be defending himself through out the talk, as if he was afraid I would look down on him, which was weird.

I was the one naked and under him.

"Ino's pretty cool and shit but… Temari is just…" he would frequently zone off of his, mid-sentence to get back to whatever we were doing.

I felt disgusted at first. How could he be cheating on my best friend like that? It was such a horrible thought. I wondered about if Naruto and me actually went out. Would he really leave Hinata? Or do the same as Shikamaru? But I had shook the thoughts from my head at the time. Naruto wasn't that horrible.

I looked up from my shoes when I saw his shadow begin to move as he started to walk away and onward. I cursed to myself when his eyes met mine, point blank. The few nano-seconds that I saw his eyes, I noticed something. He had dark circles under his and his lids were heavy. His pupils almost seemed dialated so they looked just like void black holes. The red in the white of his eyes told me that either he had recently been crying or smoking a joint. I leaned towards the last.

And then he was gone.

"Sakura-chaaan?"

I turned back to Naruto's confused blue, full of a caring sense, eyes. I realised that I had actually stared at Shikamaru and had turned all the way around to watch him go when I was far away in my own little world. "You okay?" he asked.

I smiled and said, "Yeah, I'm great."

And we both walked on.

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"Good morning, Dad."

He looked up from his lone comfy and worn chair in the middle of the dim living room.

"Good night, Sayura."

I frowned, "It's morning, Dad. And I'm your daughter, Sakura. Not mom.

He looked confused at first and then looked around the room, twisting his neck as far as he could to look behind him too, "It's morning? Well, you better wake up Sakura, she is going to miss school."

I sighed, remembering that there was no reason to correct him, he will always think of things in his own way.

"Well, I'm gonna go now, so I'll see you later, okay?" I made my way to the door, stopping when he called out.

"Where are you going?" I didn't, no, I couldn't turn back to look into his sad emerald eyes.

"I'm going to go to the store to do some shopping, you know how we are out of milk, right?"

He had paused and I heard him slump into his chair, "Well, don't be too long, I'll get worried."

Dad, like always, believed my lie.

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Homeroom was lively and loud as usual. Kakashi-Sensai wasn't in even though class had started about 10 minutes ago. I had always wondered how he could get away with this and not be fired. I was currenly sitting at my desk, in the middle of one of my OCDs, organizing all of my supplies, like paper and pencils, on my desk.

Naruto was sitting on someone else's unoccupied desk in front of me, his feet on the chair. He was in a conversation with Kiba Inuzuka who was diagnaolly across from me. Ino was next to me, smiling and talking to me about her date with Shikamaru last night to the movies while I nodded.

At the beginning of the year, Ino didn't sit next to me but through pure negotiation (black-mail) she had gotten to have her seating changed to next to me. Ino was the kind of girl that got dolled up for school in the morning and seemed to be perfect in looks.

As a child, I was always envious of her. We both looked so different, and I always thought of myself ugly with my large forehead. One day, I had asked why she hung out with me when she was so beautiful and I wasn't. We were 13 at the time and sitting in our favorite spot, ignoring a bench and sitting in the grass in the shade of a large and old tree.

"Sakura, you are beautiful. When we were younger, you were in the middle of being just a small bud but now, you are a gorgeous cherry blossom," she took a stray but still fresh looking blossom from the ground and handed it to me, "This blossom may have fallen from the rest but that's only because it's unique. You see many other fallen blossoms before a tree but never so beautiful. This is cherry blossom that can easily join the others in the tree."

I was already crying halfway through her talking, holding the blossom in my two fingers, twirling it.

"That was touching, Ino. But…" I put the blossom in front of her face, "This is an orange blossom."

Ino pouted, "Well, sorry that I can't keep a flower encyclopedia by my side."

"But your family works in a flower shop…"

After that we had both bursted into laughter. That day, I knew that Ino was a friend that would be in my life forever.

Ino was still talking about her date, practicly gushing about how they had made out for 20 minutes in the car. I smiled when Naruto and Kiba, who had overheard the conversation,were pretending to gag and Ino was yelling at them for being immature assholes.

Then, it hit me. Like a brick to the face I came to a sudden realisation. I remember thinking of how Shikamaru was such scum for going out with Ino and Temari at the same part. I was just as horrible as he was. Even though I like to think of it as a way to get money and try not to think of it as actually being…

I had slept with Ino's boyfriend behind her back.

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**4 times.**

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There is the end of Chapter 2. Tell me how you all think of this. R & R please! ^_^


	3. Indifference

**"Because of indifference, one dies before one actually dies."**

_Elie Wiesel_

"**Me** and Hinata really missed you last night..."

Naruto and I were walking to school like we always have and hopefuly always will until school ends. It isn't romantic at all - we don't hold hands or anything. We just walk and talk, walk and talk, walk and talk. Naruto usually does most of the talking of course, he's always been such a motormouth. Though I must admit I enjoy it. It's like his voice fills an otherwise empty space inside of my heart.

"Sorry, I really wanted to go but for some reason I was so tired."

It's true. I wanted to go. I wanted to have fun. Even if his girlfriend would've been there too, I really wanted to see him.

Naruto stretched his arms up high behind his head and sighed, "Well you missed out on some good quality ramen!"

I waved my hand dismissing his comment.

"I'm pretty happy I didn't. Right when I got home I collapsed and woke up for work then went straight back to sleep, waking only this morning. I really needed some good rest."

He pouted and crossed his arms like the little boy he is, "It's because you work so hard. You must've been sick."

My smile wasn't forced. He really does care about me and it makes my heart flutter.

"Shut up, if I was sick I would've told you." He shrugged to that.

I turned my head to look directly at him, still walking, "So that new place is gonna be your new favorite?"

"HEY! Now I didn't say that.. there is nothing out there comparable to that of Ichiraku!"

I laughed as he pretended to salivate then made a grossed out face when a little drool came out of his mouth.

We're friends. Best friends.

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"Move your leg.. Yeah like that.."

I was currently inside of an elevator. But this elevator had a life of its own. Shhhh. It's moving so fast. Up and down. Up Up Up. Down. It's nauseating. My stomach feels like its insides are swishing around. Shhhh. It kind of hurts too.. like rug burn. It's too rough.

"Ow.. ah.."

Hand over my mouth.

"Shhhh."

Shhhh. I feel it. Up and down. This isn't fun. This elevator has no destination. Why?

"F-fuck I'm close.."

Close. Up and down. So close. Shhhh. Up up up. "Uh!" It stops. Down down down. It's down and falling. Shhhh. "Thanks..here.."

Feels...

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_Whore!_

The word was markered all over my desk. Shockingly, this has happened before. Naruto was next to me as I stood over my classroom desk, wiping my finger along the word to find out it wasn't so new. Must've been drawn yesturday by some girls who stayed late at school.. For this whole purpose? Probably not.

"What the fuck? Who did this?"

Naruto looked much more suprised and upset than I did. He left for a minute or so to come back with a rag and spray. I took them both from his hands saying I got it.

"Girls are so.. sneaky. Why do they do this cowardly shit? Guys would let each other know their beef then fist fight or come to an understanding," Naruto was pretty pissed.

"Don't worry about it. I've come to realise that most girls don't like me.."

Naruto frowned at my indifference, "They must be jealous of you, Sakura-chan."

I finished getting most of it off. It was good enough, the _Whore!_ was gone even though there was smudges left behind. Luckily we were early so no other students were in the classroom with us. If I wasn't on this Earth I'm sure Naruto would still be sleeping.

"Jealous of what?" I gave him back the rag and spray, after all he knew where he got them from.

Naruto looked at my shoes all of a sudden, "Well.. You're.." He turned around and left to go put the objects away.

I put my hand on my one of my shoulders, over the sleeve that covered the bruise. Of course he couldn't think of anything. There's nothing special about me. Not physically.

I'm not ugly but then again not all that good looking. My eyebrows are thin and arched but my forehead is big. My nose is thin but my lips are thick. My eyelashes are long but my eyes themselves are smaller. My ears are cute but they stick out a little. My neck is long and shoulders are small and feminine but chest is pretty flat. My legs are long but not shapely. My feet are tiny but my second toe is longer than the first.

I have flaws. But flaws aren't only skin deep.

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"Welcome home, Sayura."

"Hey, dad."

"Will you make dinner?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, I'm quite hungry."

"I have some noodles and beef."

"Sounds delicious."

Cooking the noodles in a pot. Bubbles.

"Here."

"Smells great.. so what is it?"

"Noodles and beef."

"Oh of course Haha."

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I laid down on my bed, huffing out a sigh. I had just gotten out of the shower and had my hair wraped in a towel. My pajamas were blue with little zzz and sheep on them. I turned onto my stomach and kicked my feet as I picked up the one working phone in the house right on my nightstand. It's 8:00pm. Naruto should still be awake. I called his cell. No answer. "Guess I can try the homephone."

Rrrring.

Rrrrring.

Rrrrrring.

"Hello?" It was an man's voice. Naruto's father.

"Hi.. It's Sakura. Is Naruto there?" I sounded nervous. Naruto's father is a very successful yet modest man. He's also very handsome.

"Sakura! How are you and your father?"

"We're doing well. You?"

"Good. I'm doing pretty ok myself.. Naruto is in his room, he has a friend over."

Friend? Does he mean Hinata?

"I'm sure he can talk, just a second, I'll give him the phone."

"Oh uh it's ok! I-" Too late. I could hear him already going up the stairs. If Hinata's there it'd be awkward. Hinata might feel jealous if she knows that I call Naruto so late.

"Hey! Sakura-chan?" It's him.

"Hey, are you with someone..?"

"Yeah, hanging out with Gaara. Hey Gaara say hi!"

I heard a grunt in the backround. Is it horrible that I was dissapointed? Did I actually want Hinata to be jealous of our closeness?

"Well I just wanted to talk but since you're busy.. I'll just ask if you wanna hang out tomorrow?"

"Uh sure! I'm free."

I smiled. He's not free enough.

"Well see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah! See ya."

Beep.

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There was news of a new student.

Everyone's been whispering about it all morning. He's assigned to our class. I'm not sure if it's real or not. This student is supposedly very handsome. Ino said so herself. I admit I'm curious to see this new student. The desk next to mine was empty. The person who sat there before sat somewhere else in an extra desk.

I was sitting at my desk. Ino was sitting on it and giggling about cute boys. I laughed along with her. So innocent. Naruto was goofing around with Kiba just diagnol of us. His smile was so breathtaking. This new guy would have to be pretty damn handsome to compete.

The door slides open.

Sensei found this interesting enough to put down his book and clapped his hands, drawing the class' attention. "Everyone, eyes up front. You too, Uzumaki."

He's handsome. His hair was black with a blue sheen, his face beautiful.

"Uchiha Sasuke has transfered here from Tokyo. Everyone please show him a nice welcome and make him feel accepted."

"Yes, sensei."

Sasuke? His eyes were black and cold. I felt a chill when he stared into mine. Then he sat down on the desk next to me. I purposely turned my head the other way to Naruto. It felt weird.. his aura maybe?

Naruto was looking at him with a scowl, not happy at all. Was he perhaps.. jealous? ..No. That makes no sense. I peeked at Sasuke in the corner of my eye. Strange.

Strange boy.

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